


10 years later...

by deancastiel



Category: Supernatural, destiel - Fandom
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-22
Updated: 2013-02-22
Packaged: 2017-12-03 05:14:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,563
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/694562
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deancastiel/pseuds/deancastiel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Based off of the end of Swan Song (5x22).</p><p>Except Cas returns to Heaven for a lot longer.</p>
            </blockquote>





	10 years later...

It was impossibly dark as the Impala sped, always too fast, along the back winding roads. Dean stared out the cracked and fractured windshield at the rain slick road in front of him. Cas sat silently in the passenger seat, his mind elsewhere.

“What are you going to do now?” Dean finally asked, his hands flexing on the steering wheel.

“I’ll return to heaven I suppose.” Cas’s tone was almost indifferent. That stung Dean.

“Heaven? I suppose you’re the new sheriff in town?” His remark was meant to be biting but of course Cas didn’t pick up on that.

“I like that, yeah. I suppose so.”

“God gives you a brand new shiny set of wings and suddenly you’re his bitch again.” Dean looked at the angel riding shotgun for a moment before clenching his jaw and looking back to the road.

“I don’t know what God wants or if he’ll even return. It just seems like the right thing to do.” Cas’s eyes follow the dim scenery passing the window.

“Well if you do see him, tell him I’m coming for him next.”

Cas looked at Dean in slight surprise, studying him, “You’re angry.”

“That’s an understatement.”

“He helped, maybe even more than we realized.” Dean wanted to yell at Cas, to scream. Suddenly Cas was defending him again.

“Well that’s easy for you to say, he brought you back. But what about Sam? What about me, huh?! Where’s my grand prize? All I’ve got is my brother in a hole.” 

Cas’s eyebrows lowered, his face becoming stern, “You got what you asked for, Dean. No paradise, no Hell, just more of the same. I mean it Dean, what would you rather have? Peace or freedom?”

Dean opened his mouth as if to say something, turning to the angel. But he was gone. The hunter’s stomach knotted tight and he gritted his teeth.

“Well you really suck at goodbyes, you know that?”

 

10 years later

 

Dean sat on the hood of his Impala, a cold one in his hand. His evergreen eyes swept the sky as they moved from star to star. The stars meant nothing but for some reason when he looked at them he thought of Cas.

The name didn’t hurt so much anymore, now that so much time had passed. He knew he would never forgive the angel for leaving him on that day 10 years ago. To this night. At that thought Dean drank almost the entire beer, willing the weak alcohol to help him forget.

10 years.

10 fucking years.

Dean tossed back the rest of the beer before reaching for another. He had tried to think about Cas as little as possible. He was never coming back, what with being head angel upstairs. Dean’s hands tightened around his bottle, the glass protesting.

Dean had known the second that the angel had disappeared from his car that he needed him. The gap that was created that night, a festering hole that constantly ached in Dean’s chest, hadn’t gotten any better. It still controlled his thoughts by making him think of Cas. While it had not gone away he had found a way to forget about it. It usually involved drinking himself into a stupor and then blowing off steam in any way possible. Sex, fights, shooting things.

Dean tipped what must have been his 5th or 6th bottle back, letting the liquid amnesia slip down his throat and settle coldly in his stomach.

“Here’s to ten years without having to worry about your sorry, feathery ass.” He almost chuckled, almost. He drank to his own toast, his vision beginning to blur around the edges.

“You were worried about me?” Came a low voice.

Dean nearly choked on his beer, the bottle falling from his fingertips and clattering to the ground. He looked up, his heart far too hopeful. And there in front of him stood Castiel in all his glory. He seemed different in the way he carried himself but everything else was the same. The same trench coat, the same mussed hair and the same electrifying blue eyes.

Dean was instantly caught in his eyes, his mouth hanging open slightly with disbelief, “C…Cas?”

The angel returned Dean’s gaze, his face his normal mask of seriousness.

“Hello, Dean.”

And then Dean couldn’t control his own body as his arms wrapped around the angel, pulling him into a tight embrace. Cas seemed slightly taken aback but soon returned the gesture.

Dean pulled back for a moment before hauling out and punching the angel in the jaw. He hadn’t learned the first few times he had done this and he was instantly holding his hands against his chest.

“Sonuvabitch.” He mutter, trying to shake the pain out of his hand.

“What was that for?” Cas asked, completely unaffected by the strike.

“For leaving for 10 goddamn years. You know, you can be a real dick for an angel.” Dean was still nursing his hand against his chest, the pain slowly ebbing. He looked up to the angel in front of him and it seemed that all his anger melted away.

It was taken over by the pure relief that flooded every part of Dean. Cas was standing before him in the flesh, well in a meat suit. The sensations it sent through Dean made his knees weak. After suffering through ten years. Ten years of suppressing hope and preparing for the worst, Cas was here. Exactly the same.

While Dean had aged. Lines now characterized parts of his face, marking his smiles and sadness with trails in his skin. His light hair had begun to grow in silver, marking his age. 

Suddenly, while looking at this person before him, Dean felt inadequate. Self-conscious even. Nothing had changed about the man before him, he still maintained his youth. His body not showing any of the years that had passed. While Dean showed his wear and tear.

“Why…are you back?” Dean was still in shock, his eyes not leaving the angel’s.

“I was given permission to. Despite what you thought, Dean, I was ordered to stay in heaven. I did not stay simply because I did not care.” The angel’s eyes were like fire, burning away any walls Dean had set up. The hole in his chest felt raw as Cas burned down all his defenses.

“So you’re on vacation. How nice. I would have thought you would go somewhere sunnier.”

Cas looked at Dean disapprovingly, “I’m not here because I wish to relax. I’m here to see you, Dean.”

Dean gritted his teeth at the wild hope that lashed through him. He couldn’t afford to hope, “Sure you did. What finally struck your fancy about coming back?”

The angel sighed, beginning to get annoyed, “You know, even though I don’t answer your prayers I still listen. Every time you have said something to me, I have listened.”

The hope threatened to break through as Dean tried to put up his wall once more. He was dangerously close to giving in; to telling Cas that he had been a shell without him.

But he still had the all too familiar feeling of being inadequate. It was more than the fact that Cas was an angel. He still retained his youth. Dean felt like a 40 year old woman for thinking that but he couldn’t shake the feeling.

But even more prominent than his self-consciousness was his need for Cas. Dean had spent 10 years alone, wandering from place to place. He would occasionally see Sam but couldn’t stay long enough to really reconnect.

“You know you screwed up everything when you left.” Dean said, anger flashing hotly through him. Suddenly he felt completely betrayed, all his pent up emotion beginning to spill out. He charged the angel, grabbing him by the collar of his trench coat and slamming him against the side of the Impala.

“Dea…”

“Do you have any idea what happened to me when you left?”

“I do. I checked in on you frequently.”

“Not enough, Cas.” Dean growled, his fingers still gripping the angel’s coat tightly. He felt his eyes prick as anger continued to flood through him. His hands shook and he clenched his jaw. Cas looked at him serenely, as he always did. A single tear dropped down the hunter’s face, landing on the collar of his shirt.

Cas’s expression softened and he raised a hand to wipe away Dean’s unshed tears.

“Don’t touch me!” Dean shoved the angel against the car and turned his back to him. He tried to collect himself, to keep his body from shaking. It wasn’t until he felt a pair of strong arms wrap around him did he stop shaking.

“I’m sorry, Dean.”

“Sorry doesn’t cut it, Cas. You left me here.” Dean’s voice broke as he tried to resist the strong grasp that encircled him.

“I know,” Cas said softly, turning Dean to face him, “I know I can’t apologize for what I did. I can only try to express my regret to you now.”

Dean felt all his will crumble to dust and he leaned forward, his lips pressing to the angel’s. The kiss was sweet but full of unresolved sorrow. Cas’s arms tightened around Dean and Dean responded by deepening the kiss.

Finally, for the first time in what seemed an eternity, he felt whole.


End file.
